Understand You Might Be Misunderstood

When we say, “CHANGE your thinking, CHANGE your life,” we acknowledge the Power of language, of words, to affect us in this world. The combination of language plus image plus emotion is the builder of consciousness. Words trigger images, images trigger feelings, feelings have impact on our belief system. Words matter. Sometimes our word to another may be Powerful. That is, it may have more intention behind it than our word to ourselves.The capacity to keep one’s promises and agreements is paramount in a Spiritually mature person. When we use words loosely or without clear intention, we waste their Power. When you speak to yourself, mean what you say or do not say it. When you speak to others, do the same. If it is not your habit to do that now, then be with the discomfort inherent in making a worthwhile change. Do not lose anymore Power or Love in your Life.

— From The Science of the Mind Magazine

Yes words are powerful. They are also quite limiting, considering we use them with ourselves and others, who may have a very different understanding of the same words.

As a landscape contractor and creative entrepreneur, I use words all the time. Emails, contracts, and text messages are just a few of the ways in which I communicate and seek to clarify and define what’s intended. Descriptively, there are a slurry of words that I use to convey my intentions around any number of relationships between clients, workers, sub contractors and others. I draw upon my mental thesaurus and let ‘er rip!

I need always keep in mind that even though I feel like I’m speaking directly to what we might be crafting an agreement around, there is always room to be misunderstood. It can happen. Universally it DOES happen!

When it does, it tends to annoy us, piss us off, and can even lead to divorce or major catastrophe. We sit back and wonder why…

Look at Merriam’s definition of the word “Understand”

1. to perceive the INTENDED meaning
2. INFER something from information received.
3. to KNOW how (someone) thinks, feels, or behaves

Now according to those three definitions, how could you truly know how someone thinks, feels or behaves? You can’t.

This is why in contracting I use my wonderful little “Landscape Design and Scaled Drawing”. This is nothing more than a visual tool. It assists me with describing what goes where. It also assists my female client, her husband, their neighbors, the attorney, and the judge; so that if there were ever any question, we can all see just what is or was expected and involved with their project. Of course, there’s also got to be a written description for the work and services that are to be included as part of any landscape and construction project.  In this way, we can all be a little more clear with what’s expected, and agreeable with regards to time, money, and expectations.

When I hosted Yard Crashers, the homeowners paid for nothing out of pocket so a fiduciary contract was not required. The Network paid for the yards with their “Show budget” and the production company administered this expense by contracting out the various jobs and all of the work. It’s amazing how smooth things can go when you’re giving someone something for free. My team and I pretty much had free reign with being creative. Of course, because I’ve been doing landscaping and reading people for a long time, I always seek to truly appeal to my clients and what they’re really wanting and needing in their outdoor living space.

It’s like offering the hungry homeless person your leftovers while walking down street. If he’s truly hungry, he’s appreciative. It’s up to him what he wants to eat and/or discard. Yet, you take this same guy into a restaurant and have him pay for a meal, request no onions or salt, and it’s served to him with both onions and salt; he’ll likely return the whole damn plate! Or… he might simply decide to pick through the onions and deal with the salt. One can never say because choice is the privilege that each of us has.

Like the affirmation says, words trigger IMAGES, images trigger EMOTIONS, and emotions bring about CHANGE. As it relates to Ahmad Hassan Landscape Services, that change is either moving us closer towards what we’re agreeing on, or further away from what was mutually shared, discussed, understood, or misunderstood.

My day to day job is that of a designer. I design landscapes, my two retail nursery locations, my home, my yard, and so many other aspects of my livelihood. With each of these items I’m not alone. I live just like you do in a world filled with other beings that also view the world differently than me. Some like it hot, some like it cold. Some listen to Country music, while others prefer Reggae. I like tomatoes in my salad, my wife Tiffanie prefers cucumbers.

Each of us has our own unique view of life and everything in it. We’re as different as our finger prints.
It’s no wonder that we don’t agree on everything in life with a single person. How could we?
Integrity lies in doing what you said you would do. This must always start with YOU. Then expand outward.

To practice self love and respect, we’ve gotta learn how to forgive ourselves and give ourselves a break. Since we do this for other people that we love, it is essential that we take time to do the same for ourselves.

Not too long ago I made a social media post that stated, “Our birthright is to always maintain the right to say “YES, NO, MAYBE SO, & I’VE CHANGED MY MIND”.

The reason I state this and continue to tell this to folks that I am close to is because we all need to learn how to love ourselves. We live in a society where we are taught to do for others and love others. Yet concepts such as “self love, self respect, and taking care of our mental, emotional and physical self” isn’t necessarily understood so well or applied.

I encourage you to utilize your words, your print(type) and your intentions for good.

Do your best to clearly and courageously communicate but don’t get stuck thinking that everyone else must understand.

You’ll likely always be somewhat misunderstood. You’re unique! I thought you knew. 😉 Uniquely you!

 

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