The Ancillary Benefits and Burdens of Choice

I suppose we’re all a little ignorant in some areas. I mean how can we know everything about anything. We all make decisions based on some piece of inspiration, based on some small seed idea that we initially have planted in our mind. “I wanna grow a garden”, thinks the person that enjoys munching on this flavorful fruit salad I just made. Yet, who really thinks about all of the not so inspiring aspects of what’s also involved with growing a garden?

Does anyone consider the weeds they’ll grow? Or the amount of water they’ll use in order to keep their garden flourishing? Just about anything we do comes with ancillary benefits, and consequences, that will at some point rear their little heads, and show what else we get to manage because of our previous decision to step into such and such.

This is the story of so many young students entering college thinking that they’re interested in whatever subject or category of studies they said, or thought they were, when they chose whatever classes they did originally. Such is the story of our lives.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Our lives come with a benefit. That benefit is the opportunity to always say yes, no, maybe so and to change our minds. Of course there’s going to be opportunities, benefits, consequences and what I’m referring to as those ancillary effects, that stem from whatever decision we land on. This is a part of life.

There are choices we get to make everyday. Some of these choices are supporting other choices we made yesterday. They are the “yes”. I still want to have or do this.

Other choices are the “no”. I’m not willing to go there or support that idea. Maybe we needed to sleep on it or we might have been thinking about whether we were going to do this or that. It sometimes takes awhile for some of us people pleaser types to say no, but once we’re clear, we can disagree with the best of ’em and deliver a “Nah, I’m all good, thanks but no thanks.”

“Maybe so” is more or less a stall tactic. I’ve learned to use this with my kids, they will take literally everything I say as a promise. I have to be very clear with the idea that “maybe so” means I’m undecided and need a lil more time to consider what feels right to me.

And finally the magic of changing ones mind. This is the decision that let’s us know we’re alive. Life is forever expanding. All things developing, maturing and delivering what we want or what we never saw coming. When we’re dead and gone, we no longer get to choose. So relishing in this wonderful power of choice is what makes all the difference in the world.

So many folks are suffering from depression because they feel stuck in some sort of way around past decisions that they made, or they feel unempowered to make the changes that need to be made in order to once again enjoy life.

So today I’m here to remind you. If you’re alive, you get to choose. Of course any choice you make will have those pesky consequences, rewards or benefits to accompany them, and it’s impossible to know precisely what those will feel like until they’re here.

I’d also like to remind you to respect the natural time frame of things. Anything that took time and habit to create, will surely take a reasonable time frame and another habit to undo. This is something I failed to understand as a young man, and I instead thought that everything should move at lightening speed.

Life continues to show me that this isn’t the case. So breathe my friend. Give thanks that you’re alive and get to enjoy another day or choice. Do your absolute best in this moment, with ease and grace. Rest assured that no matter what life throws at you, and what you decide to dream up and move towards, it’s attainable. Each day that you’re alive you get the opportunity to say, yes, no, maybe so and I’ve changed my mind. Thanks for reading, caring and sharing.

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